Digital clock

Wednesday, March 22, 2017


I was a man of rage and anger
a soldier true and through 
hating the world... full of enemies and lies

you came along and tempered the rage 
my anger dissipating into the evening light
you freely gave me your love and kindness

I was a man of arrogance and hubris
none could match my depth of knowledge
an ego beyond the reach of any man

you came along and showed me my ignorance
you humbled me... giving me a world I had never seen
teaching me... I had so much to learn

I was a man of envy and jealousy
believing I deserved more than the next person
stealing that which I could not freely have

you came along and I could not deny you
I could give you the world and it would not be enough
...there is nothing that I would not do for you 

I am the man you have made me today
 a soldier... who became a warrior
a know-it-all... who became a scholar
a bandit... who became a patron

I am the man you proudly call... father

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

The Ninth Ring

I startle awake or is it still a dream
on my knees, clawing through the snow
not snow... ash... dirty ash, choking me
the taste of copper stings my mouth

I hear the blood-curdling wail of the beasts
their screams boiling my blood
mustn't cry out... cover my mouth
don't let them hear me breathing...crying

look for cover...must hide
all is on fire everything aflame
shadows flickering in a sickening dance 
like perverted lovers caressing my skin

the darkness reaches out to me
it's oily blackness devouring the light
don't let it touch my paralyzed body
my mind screams move...but I can't

the screams ever louder... tearing at my soul
cover my ears... must not listen
screeching wails impaling me with fear 
needles stabbing my brain... 

they encircle me... pawing at me
their acidic breath gagging me call my name

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Obsidian Stargazer

Capricorn with Moon in Scorpio seeks out emotional intensity. 
Lunar Scorpios can see beyond facades and cut right to the core of a person. 
Their intuition is enormous and they tend to be highly astute. 
This ability to "see" what isn't obvious can be intimidating or wildly attractive. 
Most have powerful, emotionally intense lives. 
They seek out commitment, and feel the need for a lover to give up something for them. 
Some will put the people they love through a series of tests, and these are not always conscious. 
However, once committed, they can be the most loyal and protective of partners. 
Even the shy ones have enormous presence. 
They spend a lot of time mastering their emotions. 
They radiate strength, even in the absence of experience; they seem to "just know". 
Some people instinctively want to lean on them, and other less brave folk run a little scared. 
They have exceptional "radar" that allows them to size up a situation quickly and expertly. 
This ability to understand human motivation and nature can be too close for comfort for some. 
Those that use their enormous powers for intimacy and honesty are the happiest, 
and make the most interesting and rewarding friends and lovers.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017


Spent my whole life building these walls
and in a matter of days you tore them down
leaving them shattered and crumbling

A simple kiss was all it took
a whisper of a promise to be kept
you held my hand and the earth shook
we talked about days gone by
as we gazed into our possible future
slowly dancing in the warmth of the sun
I held you in my arms fearing time would be short
memorizing every detail as you lay by my side a will-of-the-wisp you fluttered away
 cracks left in a wall needing to be filled and repaired
how long will it take to get it back into place

Image result for sadness wall

Sunday, February 26, 2017

My Tree of Life

Eternal Love

Love is a river flowing from up high
never traveling in a straight line
crossing over rock and trees
it moves in a direction that no one can control

it can't be blocked or dammed
nothing on earth can stop how it flows
it travels on and on

you can wade in if it travels easy
but, when it rushes down
you can drown

how do you swim in the river of love
how do you stay above
how do you not drown

is the secret to stay away so high
far from the river
up in the clouds in the sky 

Image result for sad river

Friday, December 26, 2014

Window to the Soul

Every morning... I wake with your eyes on my mind
they say the eyes are the windows to the soul...

every morning I count myself blessed
to know I will be witness to another day of heaven
As you look up and catch my smile
I see a light that shines so brilliant and true

I remember everything that has happened this day
how your eyes sparkle with an easy jest
a smile... giggling when we glance at each other
a secret...a special joke in the world that only we share

I know you... sometimes more than you know yourself
I know your pain, your sorrow, your desires for true love
but there is no way for me to give you all that you need
when you don't see the love in my soul that belongs to only you

I look for the reflection of the love I have for you
I see the happiness, the heartache, the love you have
but... I see no reflection for the love that I have for you

that love is for another who will never see into your soul

they say the eyes are the windows to the soul...
every night... I fall asleep with your eyes on my mind

Friday, November 1, 2013

Ode to Remix

Remember when you made mixed CDs for that special someone, is a blog version, lol

"The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all"

"Look into my eyes, you will see
What you mean to me"

"Wish I could make you believe
In all that you are you don't have to be
Everything to everyone
Everybody's number one
Cause baby you're everything to me"

"The time is right, you hold me tight
And love's got me high
Please tell me, 'Yes' and don't say, 'No'
Honey, not tonight"

"Now, that I'm here, no more tears
Come here, come here
And you won't find, things
That broke your heart
And blew your mind
Not here, no, not here"

And I... will always love you, ooh

Will always love you”

How many songs were you able to recognize?

Wednesday, September 11, 2013


Each day i feel myself slipping... further and further down 
drowning... in a whirlpool of endless suffering

my mind tells me that the surface is above
but it knows the illusion
my heart tells me not to give up hope
but I feel it weeping in the dark
my soul tells me light is on the horizon
but... I feel it shrink in the darkness

In my 11th hour...the pressure envelopes a smothering lover
breath slowly seeping from my body...bubbles rising above me

my mind tells me to fight the good fight
but i feel its resolve weakening
my heart tells me to have faith in love
but only recalls the unrequited
my soul tells me a warrior has purpose
but i hear my sword as it hits the ground

In my final senses reel in the newness of old sensations
sights seem sharper, sounds crisper, scents are overwhelming

my mind understands so many unanswered questions
my heart is free to finally forgive those bottled pains soul is finally at peace 

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Don't Blink

morning light through broken shades...
 a cascading shower... upon my face
eyes peer must be time to go
senseless sounds from a wretched radio

Today I closed my eyes...
and begged for more time to sleep

another day in a cubicle prison
punching numbers in motorized unison
just another drone in a corporate farce
no way to express my life... or art

Today I closed my eyes... 
and wished for a new start

I smile at the only beauty in my life
a quick bite to eat with my future wife
time flies... with no thought to my needs
kiss her goodbye...with a knowing squeeze

Today I closed my eyes...
and knew... we would be together forever

work day drags on and on...a tormenting  senseless curse
driving only thoughts on her
thunder and lightning heralding unexpected wrath
time slows... as headlights swerve right into my path

Today I closed my eyes...
and prayed... please don't let this be

 I closed my eyes...
and died

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Fading Hope

A pinpoint of light in a sea of darkness
Slowly drowning in the murkiness of loneliness
Pulsing with hope...signaling with its fading strength
Blackness closing in... a strangling death grip

The glowing ember of life slowly ebbing
Struggling to keep its fire flowing 
Yet heaviness slowly closes in
Crushing... is the heartbreak knowledge of isolation

Time passes...a moment...a eternity
Brightness eternal sunset coming to a close
In the deepening shadow a faint glimmer appears
A reflection... of what was...or what remains

My Elusive Lover

I have loved and been loved
and many have fallen to my simple charms
how is it that you have my heart 
yet...never been my lover

you have laughed at my jest
and smiled at my quirks...
your laughter filling me with endless joy
yet...never have your lips lingered on mine

I have smiled so sweetly and mischievously
whispering into your soul... of the love we could share
our eyes meeting and sharing possible rendezvous
yet...never have your eyes opened to see me in the morning light

We have drank wine of bacchanal delight
danced and frolicked on a moonless night
our hearts secretly knowing what our minds deny
yet...we parted ways ere the night was over
I think of you every morning...
I dream of you every night...
my heart knowing that you are its one true love secret forever remain outside my arms

Battle Soulmates

In a land of blue skies and open plains
Senseless violence is never in reign

Battles are fought by the just and the true
Enemy and foes, a more tangible hue

A prince... a king... a knave, a knight
A lady... a queen... a warrior bright

Two different souls... yet one in life
A man, a woman, a husband and wife

Love and honor held high above all
One needing the other or the other would fall

Brothers in combat, back to back
Lovers in bed, entwined without lack

Born of different lands, cultures and sights
Bound together by magic, faith, and rites

Overcoming obstacles of time and space
Halves of the same soul bound in place

Have no fear for a time shall come
When the two shall meet and become as one

And from their union greatness will follow
Leading many to glory by all that is hallow


the first poem i ever wrote

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Eternal March

step by step...
I continue my march
don't remember where I began
don't remember where I am headed
I step on...
every step brings agonizing pain
my feet...bare and bleeding
yet...cannot stop the next step I take
the dusty horizon in front of me
I step on...
one after another
the sun bears down on me
heat driving me down
I thirst...but is it water I crave
I step on...
must not stop... they depend on me
I keep stepping
visions of my love
I step on...
brush of wind cooling me
breeze of vulture wings
circling above 
patiently waiting
i step on...
cannot stop they need me
must not fail them
I step on..

Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Search

into the shaded darkness...
I wander deeper into an unyielding forest
the harder I search...the more entangled I become
in a world far from what I once knew  

my steps quiet...
not wanting to disturb the melody of life
in the deeper reaches of the forest lies an open glade
exhausted and trembling...I fall upon an ivy covered log 
my senses opening to that which is around me

noise begins to chorus back to normal 
the brush of wind caressing the majestic guardians
whistling through branches...leaves softly cascade onto the forest floor
birds pick up on the melody, harmonizing to life ebbing away

breathing deeply...
drinking in the heavy mead of life around me
the heady scent of pine... flavored with touches of dated lavender
moss and peat... wet from an earlier rainfall
a lingering taste of ozone 

eyes tearing...
I see life slowly circling towards it restful sleep
Autumn oranges and reds covering the forest floor
a snowfall of embers, bright vibrant colors shouting in death 
"I will emblazon the world...death will not be done quietly"

wetting my lips....
I taste the saltiness of my tears
yet, longing for the sweetness of what life was
instead... it is the bitterness of decay that swirls around my mouth
likened to an over-ripened fruit that has long seen its day 

skin prickles...
feeling the chill of an early evening shadow 
slowly the eternal night shifts towards this haven
crawling into the deepness of this once protected warm shelter
bones feeling the harsh grip of winter's hold

darkness enfolding the setting light
deafening silence replaces life's eternal music
the sense of tiredness overburdens my shoulders
sleep awaits...

Thursday, November 1, 2012

New Journey

shed me not a tear
for I now travel on a journey
one... that is new to me
with sights and sounds I've never known

shed me not a tear
for I will meet new people
and gain new experiences
even my troubles will be eye opening

shed me not a tear
for even if you are not with me
I will always carry a part of you...
as a part of me, will always be with you

shed me not a tear...
my lost love

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Cernunnos Love Letter

I found this scrolling around
If Cernunnos wrote love letters, it would possibly go something like this:

“You have given yourself to me…
Fully… You surrendered… You’re mine!
Your heart belongs to me, your soul,
Your body, your breath, your everything! Mine!
And you will run with me,
Scream with me, and rut with me,
Tremble in terror and desire of me,
Dance that wild, frenzied dance with me,
Journey to the dark, dank depths with me.
And you will know sheer ecstasy, utter agony,
And the intoxicating thrill of the hunt.
And we will meet at the Crossroads together, as we always have.
We will wander far and wide, with a fire raging in your head.
And I will show you the way on those crooked and hidden paths
I will tell you things no other could
I will take you to places unknown, and unseen
I will teach you. Guide you. Push you. Pull you. Rip you open.
I will show you what it means to be my devotee
I will break you and remake you,
Over and over…
And you will love me…
And when I’m not with you…
Remember… Remember…

Wednesday, September 19, 2012


Lover's candlelight on a moonless night
reflecting off skin...a soft glimmering light

Eager eyes... search the darkening skies
for a sign to guide... their innocent lives

Cassiopeia whispers, in their ear...
"make love my darlings and do not fear"

"The Hunter guards you in your bed of grass
let none come close or suffer his wrath"

Lyra strums a seducing tune
as two young lovers begin to swoon

Swan showers the ground with downy feathers
a silken pillow... as they lie together

Centaur croons... in a baritone voice
setting the mood and making Andromeda rejoice

Soon their passion becomes a blazing sun
only Phoenix and Draco, are not overrun

They lie together... bodies aglow
lighting the heavens... with their lustful show

In the background...Virgo sheds a sorrowful tear
they have crossed a boundary...she holds so dear

Monday, September 3, 2012

Chances (lyrics)

Chances are...
you never saw me coming into your life
always considering yourself Prince Charming's wife

fancy home and expensive cars
a yacht on the river to watch the stars
life full of glamour, expense, and entertainment
jet setting among the rich... and famous
traveling around the world in your personal plane
bumping elbows with senators, movers and fame

Chances are.. 
you never saw me coming into your life
my life was tumbling and so full of strife

the day we met...all you saw was big, dumb, and mean
a gentleman nowhere to be seen 
brows in a furrow and deep in thought
loud and bossy, chasing people around
you hid behind others in a bit of a fright
hoping not to be noticed...keeping out of sight

Chances are...
you never saw me coming into your life
now we sneak peeks at each other from time to time

we talk to each other every single day
you listen to my stories and I hear what you say...
our friendship growing stronger with every date
one day whether by chance or by fate
we turn and our eyes locked in the moment
lips softly meeting without knowing

Chances are...
you never saw me coming into your life

Friday, August 31, 2012

Fading Hope

A pinpoint of light in a never ending sea of darkness
slowly drowning in the murkiness of loneliness
faintly pulsing... signalling with its fading strength
blackness... closing in...the strangling grip of death

The glowing ember slowly flickers in desperation
as it struggles to keep its fire ablaze and flowing
heaviness slowly crushes the breathe of life
frightening is this foreshadowing knowledge of loss

Time... passes...a moment...a eternity...
brightness fading...eternal sunset coming to its destined end
yet... in the deepening shadow, the dusk seems lessened
a resurrection...or the false image of fading hope?

Sunday, March 11, 2012

The Fall

I hear the sound of a train roaring 
as if it were rushing by on a cold winter night
wind driving my hair back... pulling the skin of my face taut
how can wind be so deafening

My body feels empty... and weightless...
is this how a leaf feels riding on a storm's path
yet...i feel the pull... in the core of my being
dragging me, as a child drags a struggling puppy

My mind struggles to make sense of where I am
time is irrelevant and out of place
I know not whether a minute has passed...
or, if I have played every scene of my life over and over

to keep my eyes closed... is to know peace
so I open my eyes...
Mother Earth lies before me, calling on her child
and...I rush to her in open arms praying for comfort

I'm falling....and the beauty I view... blinds me
I fear...and yet, my heart brims in happiness
my mind freezes in time
I'm falling

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Wolf Moon

High upon the forested mountain
covered in winter's white down blanket
her onyx-colored eyes scan the horizon...protector and guardian
watching her children play in their winter playground

She watches as the full moon slowly glides over the distant peaks
signifying the goddess' presence and  the start of a new season
the children of the forest quietly begin to gather
bearing gifts to the one that nurtures and guides those under her care

ancient fey dressed in their splendid garments of deepest violet
carrying swords of birch and crowns of thistle
scatter petals of crocus and snowdrops at her feet
presenting her with nuts and cones for nourishment

multitudes of glittering eyes patiently watch from the forest around her
waiting for her signal to begin their trek through the night
leading them to their new home... where life's cycle will begin anew
a cycle... started before memory and continuing after she is long gone

she feels the ancient calling welling deep within her chest 
breathing deeply... barely noticing the biting cold mountain air
she readies herself to loose the calling as ancient as time itself
a signal to all that the time has come to move on and start a new journey

Sunday, January 8, 2012


I have seen the moon on a cloudless night
shining brightly in a sea of stars...
lighting the snow-covered forest
a view... more picturesque none has ever seen

I have seen the sun rising over majestic peaks
painting the heavens in a fiery panorama...
bathing the earth in its life giving warmth
a brilliance... that could never be caught on canvas

I have seen below the depths of the ocean
its myriad hues unbeknownst to the sky...
with life dancing in a kaleidoscope of  movement
a mosaic... so few have ever laid eyes upon

yet none of these can  match the beauty
that I see in you... in the early morning light
your face softly glowing in perfect peace
an inspiration... to musicians, poets, and lovers

laying here next to you, listening to your gentle breathing
a soft whisper of sound... lighter than a butterfly's flight
yet... a sound of hurricane force to my beating heart
forcing me to gasp for breathe, in my own musings

your bare skin silkily shimmers in the early light
my light caresses causing your body to shiver ever so lightly
heart and body battle over whether to wake you or not
there is nothing grander than love to bring the day in

love, lust, I surrender to temptation?
should this beauty... so perfect in this slice of time
be marred for the simple pleasures of want
mayhap... just a few more moments of perfection

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Hidden Smiles

One of the greatest treasures in life
is when you find hidden smiles

these are the unexpected smiles that come from the heart
in the most unexpected places and times

they are as fleeting as a morning dream
often only caught from the corner of your eye

you've seen it...

on the young couple... where love is fresh and blooming
lighting the world in new color and sensations

on the older couple... who catches a glimpse of the other 
knowing they share a secret from the rest of the world

on the child... who walking with her father hand-in-hand
sees a magical unicorn hiding behind a bush

on that person... standing next to you waiting for the metro or bus
who gets lost daydreaming of their someone special

you've seen it on yourself... when you catch that smile on another
and it makes you realize you've seen happiness in perfect form

Tuesday, December 27, 2011


The celestial heavens have never seen such fury...
the night skies ripped open in a scream of agony
casting hail and fire upon the fields of mankind
burning flames, the colors of blood... and amber

the once tranquil oceans... roil in agonizing pain
massive waves... the likes never seen, churning... to and fro
crashing upon the rocky shores like a hammer upon glass
mercilessly casting its children  upon the up-heaving land

the earth ripped asunder like a plaything in a giant's hands
geysers spewing not water, but the burning blood of the earth
mountains exploding... sending rock and fire into the night sky
a perverted light show... heralding... death and destruction

yet none can truly capture the wrath of a lover's scorn
love given... only to be thrust into the depths of betrayal
trust broken... and impaled upon the jagged edges of  duplicity
a sense of despair that replaces any hope of continuing existence

an Apocalypse of mind, heart, and soul

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas memories

One of my most memorable Christmas' days
took place in Southern Germany
I was with my best friend and the woman I loved
we were walking along a snow-dusted cobblestone road
between small kiosks all covered in winter snow
the light and fluffy kind that slowly falls over hours
the air was crisp, and tingled the skin in a refreshing way
everywhere you looked were the signs of the season
wreaths with flowers and cones, candles lit in place of normal lights
holly and mistletoe hanging from store shops and lamp posts
we sipped on warm gluhwein and ate little pastries
the air smelled of fresh cooking, roasted chickens and fresh bread
the shops had little trinkets and wooden toys
we talked and shopped for hours, til late into the night
the day lasted forever, and yet still ended way too soon
though many years have passed 
this has always been one of my treasured 
Christmas memories

What is yours?

Friday, December 23, 2011

Life's lessons

When I was young... I loved the world
people were good and were my teachers
friends were the best and always by my side
family was a constant and had all the answers...
best of all... I fell in love

falling in love... made me grow up
no longer did I live a selfish life
all that I did was for the one I loved
nothing made me more fulfilled than making her happy...
unexpected thing to happen...she broke my heart

a broken heart...makes you old and bitter
lost love doesn't make you sad and depressed
it makes you hate... everyone and everything
love songs and memories reminds you of what you lost...
worst thing to happen...I went numb

going numb...made me lonely and desperate
empathy is replaced with sadism
but hatred fills the void with some kind of emotion
hurt the world more than it hurts you and you win...
last thing I expected to happen...I became a little wiser

being wiser...made me sad, but opened my eyes
sometimes love is not eternal...nor shared
fairy tales do not come true and it okay to cry
we live our lives one day at a time 
next thing to happen....I... I just don't know

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Away From Home

I would like to remind all my readers and followers....all three of you, lol....please don't forget our loved ones who are overseas and cannot be with their families this time of year.  Whether it is because they are serving their countries, on sabbatical, or because their jobs have taken them away from home, we want them to remember that we are thinking of them and they will always have a place in our hearts.  I personally have a close friend who is in Europe on business and she will not be with her family this year... :( 
but, hopefully she will know that we all are thinking of her and this time next year she will be with loved ones to celebrate Christmas with them.  Hopefully, Santa will be extra nice to her and leave her a special gift :)

Monday, December 19, 2011

Yuletide Cheer

T'is the season of Yuletide cheer
just got to bed... knowing midnight was near
when...ever so lightly... soft jingles I hear
a sound that has signaled his coming each year

I throw on a robe and sneak to the stairs
with hopefully none... being any aware
then lo, when I peek... what do I see 
but o' Ms. Saint Nick... standing at the tree

in a short red skirt... with, white fur trim
dancing to and fro... in a musical whim
long tapered legs in red silk stockings
nothing could have been, ever more shocking

in utter amazement... I trip on the floor
n' stumble head first right through the door
with a jump and a shriek of girlish glee
she spins around... to stare at me

with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes
and a twirl of her skirt... she hops to my side
she smiles at me with a twist in her lips
tilts her head... and curtsies a dip

I look straight into her beautiful eyes
never have I been... so mesmerized
she grabs my hand and spins me around
I twist and turn...and finally sit down

she claps her hands... and giggles out loud
spinning and twirling... skirt flying around
with a hop, a skip... and a leap in the air
she lands on my lap... without a care

soft golden tresses falling off her shoulders
with the scent of winter as she leans forward...
her soft lips slowly, caressing my neck
she whispers in my ear with a sensual peck

"I caught you peeking you sneaky little twist
that puts you on... my very... naughty list
if you want to get back... onto the good
your gonna put Ms. Santa... n' a better mood"

she spins in my lap with a twist of her hips 
and plants a soft kiss upon my lips
she places my hands upon her shift
"time is upon us...come open your gift"

needless to say
it was an amazing... 
Yule day

Friday, December 16, 2011

Hello My Old Friend...

Where have you been?
I think of you...every now and then
When I am sitting alone or deep in thought...
Do you remember me? Or, do you not?

I hope you do...or at least...that you pretend
It has been a long time...almost without end
We live our own lives...away form each other
Me a new a new mother

Sometimes  I am out...walking down the street
The wind comes along and I smell the breeze
It brings to mind old times and events
Those special things which were fate's intent

I hear a song and it brings to memory
The late nights we stayed up and all the late parties
Dances we shared in that old dusty attic
Nothing could make us feel any more ecstatic

All the things we did and took for granted
Talks we had and all our bad habits
Laughing and giggling about the future we would see
never realizing that it was never meant to be

They say you can never go back...the past is the past
But, it is nice to remember, that life was not so fast
Sometimes the phone rings and I hope is you
Knowing these are the wishes of a hopeless old fool

Hello my old friend
Where have you been?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Work is finished...
on my way home

look out the window
I see people with heads down
a final march home

look out the window
I see dreary weather
rain soaked shadows

look out the window
I see the homeless 
sheltering in doorsteps

look out the window
I see wet...I see tired...
I see broken dreams

look at the window
I only see a reflection of me

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Mountain Top (tri-haiku)

White-capped mountaintop
Mother Gaea's protector
Nestling the valley

Safe in its shadow
For all creatures, big and small
A hidden refuge

Towering the skies
Even storms fear to trespass
A majestic sight

Tortured Love

My heart yearns for the one I cannot have
like gossamer... she walks through my dreams
leading me on an endless chase
I beg for her to let me hold her close
she smiles...saying it is not our time

My heart yearns for the one I cannot hold
every morning her eyes sparkle with a secret only I know
my cold heart burns to hear her whispered breath
longing for those hidden caresses in spoken silence
with a touch...I am bound to her

My heart yearns for the one I cannot love
her hand belongs to another... promised so long ago
my tortured soul howls to fill its missing void
I beseech the gods for our time together
but with a tear...she lets me go